“Tell me where you wanted to go, I bet you wanted me to follow, kinda like the girl I used to be. I let you go, tell them you were mad about the way I grew strong…”
In the last year or so, I realised I talk about myself a lot. I hope it’s not in an annoying way, it’s just that there is so much that happened that needs a detailed explanation for others to understand that it might come across as bragging. Once I realise this mid-conversation and someone actually compliments me for something, I brush it off with “Nah, not that big of a deal, it just sounds like it”.
It left me thinking: am I the only one who can’t take compliments? Why is it that we dismiss our achievements to not sound like narcissists? Do we actually sound full of ourselves or is it just us thinking we do?
We tend to belittle ourselves, even though we might be really strong and ambitious. We might have achieved things that others would only dream of, yet we still can’t admit it in front of others. And then, being in our bubble, listening to some empowering song we think about how great we’re actually doing. How proud we should be of everything we’ve achieved. And then comes another conversation and we feel little again, not wanting to brag about the hard work we might’ve put into the things we’re complimented for. And again, we just say “thanks but it’s nothing, really”.
Why is it that we see the worst in ourselves? That we see our mistakes rather than our accomplishments? That we see everyone else doing better than us, even though it might not be true?
Why is it that we see our temporary jobs as a thing to be ashamed of instead of the opportunity that was given to us to gain experience? Why do our stretch marks and loose skin remind us of our mistakes made in the past instead of the great achievement of changing our mindset and getting into shape? Why are we sad thinking about our broken hearts in the past instead of realising we were able to power through without breaking down and learning from it? Why can’t we own up to everything we were able to do on our own that shaped us and made us stronger?
We strive to get better, to get better jobs, get a better body, be better people. And somehow, along the way we forget to be proud of things we already have.
You might look at your classmates at Uni and think: they’re in a better position because they already have a job I would love to have one day. They’ve done an internship, they’re further in their studies than I am. But if you think about it, you should be proud of yourself for getting into Uni; for getting so far. Balancing a job while studying. Dealing with things others wouldn’t ever dream about.
You might think you’re too old to start something, to get your life on track or get a career you only now realise you would want. Don’t forget that for every rule there is an exception and if you believe in yourself and put effort, time and hard work into it, the exception might be you. There is always a way to get what you want and maybe while working on bettering yourself, you’re goals will change and you will discover a path you will be even happier with.
You might think you’ve screwed up and can’t move on from the place you’re stuck at. You might think others work harder, are more motivated, have a better discipline. But what keeps you from working just as hard as them? To be just as motivated as them? To have an even better discipline as them? Think about it, the only real obstacle is you. And you alone. Once you realise this, a lot of things will be possible.
We should never feel ashamed to talk about our goals and achievements. If you’re proud of yourself and your accomplishments, get complimented, feel good about it because you deserve it. You might’ve accomplished something others would never ever been able to do. You’re amazing and you shouldn’t hide it.
And if someone thinks you’re bragging and can’t see how awesome you are, well, they might need a weaker person, kind of like a person you used to be. But aren’t anymore.