“I’ve been afraid of changing ’cause I’ve built my life around you, but time makes you bolder…”
Do you ever feel like you’re homesick for a place that isn’t your home?
I’ve been living in this city for the past 8 years. At first, it was a pleasant change from what I’ve known, the small city I lived in for 16 years. This big city I’m currently living in was exciting, different and totally complicated. But somehow, it’s all gone now and I can’t bring myself to love it as much as I loved it when I first moved here. I can’t love it as I used to because I came to discover a place much more diverse, more perfect for me, the city of my dreams.
A couple of years ago, my best friend told me she didn’t want to live here for the rest of her life. I couldn’t understand her, this city was perfect in my eyes. She kept telling me that in her opinion, this city is boring, excluding and she feels trapped here. I had that feeling before, in the city I grew up in – that’s why we decided to move. But I was happy with my current city. Or maybe it was an illusion coming from a worse situation.
In 2014, I visited the city of my dreams. I was obsessed with it even before I went there for the first time. It sounds crazy, but somehow I felt really drawn to that place. So, when we first arrived, I was shocked. It was nothing like I imagined because to be honest, you see the pretty pictures and are oblivious to the true images. But man, two days later I fell for that place. I fell hard. It was even more than I ever asked for. The smell, the obnoxious people, the lights, the noise – it was perfect.
Since then, I got annoyed with my current situation. I was thinking about moving but I had some unfinished business here so I stayed. It’s always like that, isn’t it? Whether it’s a place we live in, a job or a relationship. We always have something that keeps us in one place, trapped until we can’t deal with it anymore and we move on – for better or for worse, just to get out and feel good again. I am that point now. It’s time to go.
Some friends I talked to weren’t really supportive first telling me it will be hard, my new life might be worse than it is now, it will take a lot to get used to the new situation. But honestly, it’s worth it. To not feel trapped anymore. Because you know what they say, at the end of the day we regret the things we didn’t do.
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