Don’t wait for the perfect life, take life and make it perfect.
– or at least as good as you can.
We were lying in bed yesterday and my boyfriend apologized to me for being grumpy. He felt upset because of some things, but the core of his anger was that he felt like everyone around him seems to have their life together, having enough money to live life without counting every cent and just being adults as they are supposed to be.
The problem is, I have the feeling a lot of people wait for the oportunity to fall from trees. They wait for the perfect moment, the perfect life, the perfect everything. As if they couldn’t enjoy the present until they get to a level they think might change their lives.
But is it really about that perfectness or is it that state of mind we hope we will have once we achieve THAT perfect level?
I used to be like that. I still am in a lot of things: I will be happier when I lose weight because things will fit me better and I won’t get frustrated so much. I will be happier when I have my dreamjob. I will be happier when I’ll have everything I ever wanted. I will be happier…but will I?
I came to find that goals change. And when you’re putting your present happiness aside, because this is just a phase until you achieve your goal, you are missing out big time. Some goals take time to achieve. Days, weeks, month, even years! Why do we think that the goals and dreams we have now, we will still have in years?
People change, so do our opinions. Maybe we’re not changing radically, but we evolve and so do our opinions. Working towards a goal in the future is good, it’s motivating, but it shouldn’t keep us from doing the best of the situation we’re in RIGHT.NOW.
Think about it: let’s say you also think that losing weight will make you happier. You set your goal to lose 20 pounds by the end of the year. Until then, you won’t buy any clothes because you will need smaller sizes in a couple of months anyway. So you’re slouching around in your old clothes that don’t make you any more confident or happy than you already aren’t. You lose those 20 pounds that made you think less of yourself, but you still aren’t satisfied with your body. What is wrong? Your goals may have changed along the way. Now that you lost that weight you find that a toned body would be even better and the scale is not the perfect representation of your happy ever after. This sucks.
Another goal that takes unrealistic turns is having the job of your dreams. You are not happy with the job you have, you always daydream about how your life would be perfect when you had that job. But that dreamjob may or may not be waiting for you in the future. Let’s say you get that job – well done. But what if you don’t like it? Not because you read the description of the job wrong or because the job doesn’t suit you – how couldn’t it, you’ve built your life around fitting the position – but because your goals changed. You evolved into a different person while putting life aside just to get to your goals you set years ago. The goals that aren’t that perfect for you anymore.
You may not have THAT perfect life right now, but start building it, one brick at a time. If the process takes a different turn, go with it if you like it. Change with it, evolve with it, make it yours. Don’t think that SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW everything will be perfect. It never is. Start small, every change for the better will take you somewhere. And if you decide it’s not for you, you still learn along the way. Use this experience to do it better in the future. To do it perfectly, maybe. Just do more of what makes you happy.